Tuesday, April 28, 2015

The New "Normal"

So there are days when I'm walking or driving along, and I look around and think "hey look at me  living in Central America." And the weird thing is, it's starting to feel- dare I say it- normal!

Yes, the traffic jams and frustrated shopping attempts that used to raise my blood pressure or bring me to tears are things that I can often take in stride now. (Not always...often.) We laughingly say that we never know what the day will bring here, and we like the adventure of that uncertainty most of the time. But some days the routine can almost seem TOO normal. Like maybe we're making this thing seem too easy. Maybe people will  stop sending donations, or forget to pray for us, or forget that we exist altogether! I start to feel guilty. Maybe we need to be suffering a little more? But usually just then, something will happen. Something that seems pretty normal to me, like chasing mice around the kitchen, or trying to figure out what bug has infested my line-dried clothing, or the bank suddenly and without notice changing their whole policy, freezing our money in limbo for two weeks. And I go, nope, this is not always so easy. But over time, with language acquisition, with friends and more of a support network, the difficulties start to lose their power to debilitate me. Coping takes over, and this weird life is now normal.

Our kids recently seemed to make it over a big hump. Transferring to a private school in a completely different culture was huge. And then to go from being A+ star students to struggling in some subjects, was a confidence killer in itself. We tried to give them some grace, offer help, and push them when necessary. Finally they seem to have their groove back, and this semester they are both doing great academically and socially while still participating in some extra-curricular activities. Caleb is currently on a trip with the high school choir. They are touring a more remote region of the country where we've never been before, singing and sharing with people at local schools and churches, as well as performing a work/service project. They even sang on the radio today! We're excited for him to have a new experience and  a little bit of independence. Aleksandra is playing basketball for the first time and loving it. So, in many ways our family life seems more normal than it has in a while.

Being away from extended family is a constant emotional struggle, and the reality is that we can't travel back and forth to the U.S. very often.  Oddly, the longer we're here, the more difficult a part of reality this becomes. You begin to realize the degree of sacrifice when your family is moving through life far away from you and your relationship seems stretched. But we have a more than full schedule here, and a relatively non-existent travel budget, which hopefully will develop over time.  Facetiming and Skypeing have become a regular part of the routine too, as well as sending wish and needs lists to our friends and family or shopping online, and having friends and acquaintances hand deliver the "stuff" that it's hard to do without here. (I ask myself, if I stay here 10 more years, will I really continue to have people bring me ranch dressing packets?) And maybe life without some items will become the norm, but for right now, there are a few must haves. As I've navigated running my household over the last two years, I've discovered where to acquire some necessaries, how to make a lot of things from scratch, and there is even a lot more available in Guatemala than there was when we first moved here: blueberries(!), Reeces Cups, frozen biscuits, Papa Johns, and I could go on. Personally I'm holding out for Cool Whip and Crescent rolls, or at the height of fantasy Chick-Fil-a or Target. Who knows?

I suppose people coming for a week long visit could watch us function and assume that we have it easy here. And compared to many missionaries in the world I'm sure that's true.  But, trust me, some days it's harder than it looks. Even amidst the struggles that do arise, I am feeling very thankful for the level of sanity and "normality" that is developing over time.